Fifty shades of grey

So a friend of mine decided to challenge me to read the Fifty shades trilogy and since I'm a really competitive person, I don't really say no to challenges so I was like ''Hell yeah, bring it onnnnnnnnnnnnnn''

So with part 1 out of the way, how was the experience?? I actually knew what was I getting my self into, but by god I didn't expect this book to be so hilarious and fun in such an unintentional way. What was supposed to be a romantic/ erotica book turned to be one of the funniest and corniest books I've ever read in my life. Before we dig deeper into this anus of a book, yes there will be spoilers. 

So what made this book entertaining?? Let's take a look.

The plot here is simple, Ana is an English student and her best friend Kate wants to interview this rich dude ''Christian Grey'' but she is so sick so she asks Ana to go and interview the guy. Okay, fair enough so Ana goes there and finds out that almost all of Grey's employees are blondes, at this point I was like seriously?? And no one sued the guy?? Moving on, so Ana meets this Grey dude and just like that Ana's inner goddess is awake and she has a crush for the young billionaire and suprisngly so does the young Billionaire. So yeah we have a young ''naive'' and boring girl who has a crush towards a fucked up and rich guy with a dark history, well sounds familiar but I wonder why??

The plot is so unoriginal and boring in a way that EL James had to find out a way to make it sound interesting so firstly, she decided to make Grey a normal human being who doesn't sparkle in the sun and secondly she introduced us to the world of BDSM and hardcore sex.

I really don't know what to write and that's the thing the book is so mind numbing and ridiculous so lets start with Ana herself. Ana was supposed to be this shy 21 years old virgin who didn't have a boy friend before but after one like she turned into this sex addicted whore who just wants to get banged as soon as possible. Like seriously after just one time she discovered her inner goddess and by god this inner goddess thing is the most entertaining part of the book. Through out the book you will find out that Ana's inner goddess can:

1- Give you the middle finger. 

2- ''"My inner goddess jumps up and down with cheer-leading pom-poms''

3- "My inner goddess is doing backflips in a routine worthy of a Russian Olympic gymnast."

4- "My inner goddess roars …"

5- "My inner goddess is standing on the podium awaiting her gold medal."

In my opinion Ana's inner goddess is the true hero of the whole book  and at some point I was like who comes up with such lines?? I don't really know but a big thank you to Ana's inner goddess for cracking me up. 

As for Christian, the guy doesn't ''make love'' but he fucks hard. At some point I was like '' This guys is some sort of a sexual cyborg, he can't be human''. I mean the guy bangs Ana in almost every chapter, every time and everywhere, the guy has like a never ending erection. I was expecting him to reveal himself as some sort of a robot or a mythical  creature . 

Another thing that popped into my mind is the fact that Grey has condoms like every where, May be he owns a condom factory or something, the guy  is full of surprises. 

One of the the things that caught my attention that Ana didn't have an E- mail. So in 2011, 21 years old Ana didn't have a fucking E-mail, WHATTTTTTT?! Back in 2001 my dad was like 50 and he had an E-mail!!! and boy the why she and Grey communicate with each other, they send E-mails to each other, no seriously. So both of them have Blackberries but instead they E-mail each other, no messenger, no BBMs and no E-buddy, the E-mail. This is stupid by all means, I means who doesn't have an E-mail!! The novel was written in 2011 not in 1980. 

But what about the relation?? Here is the thing, there is no relation. Christian is this creepy bastard who controls Ana in the worst ways possible and Ana is stupid, really stupid and she doesn't have any self esteem. Christian has issues, really fucked up issues and is a real control freak while Ana is like ''Hmmm, Am I good enough for him?? Does he love me?? Will he make love to me??'' Screw the guy and just RUN!! Don't look back, just run from this maniac. So at some point you'll have to say that the book is demeaning to women and while I might agree with you but who would take suck a book seriously?? This book is like watching porn, porn doesn't make sense, porn is demeaning, but its porn, who takes porn seriously?? This is a porn book, a guilty pleasure, a piece of cheap fantasy that shouldn't be taken seriously. This book shouldn't be even discussed with a straight face and even though it's funny but towards the end I was like ''this is too much for me to handle''. I started to get bored and the sex scenes were so much, it's like adding too much salt on your food. Imagine getting bored from sex, that's an accomplishment by it self. The ending in my opinion did make sense, at last Ana decided to spit it out and told Grey that she loved him and he freaked out and that's the thing, the guy doesn't want to have a romantic relation with her, all he wants is to fuck her hard, control her and satisfy his needs, the relation should have ended before it even started.

 The only thing that might make me complete the series is to know more about Christian, as fucked up as he is I want to know what made him this way. So sum things up, we have two fucked up characters, a doomed relation, a lots of condoms, stalking, dancing inner goddess, never ending orgasms and laughable sex scenes. So how to rate this book?? Lets ask Ana's inner goddess:

Yup, she had fun and so did I, literally wise its crappy but it's in this area of so bad it's good and boy I'm a fan of such thing...